2021 DOG & CHAIR
The Unauthorized, Unofficial & Highly Irreverent Ross & Smith Hall of Fame
Annual Report of the DOG & Chair
July 8, 2021
After a year’s hiatus the 2021 DOG & Chair golf outing, team dinner & annual shareholders meeting was held on May 22nd at the combined venues of Aronimink Golf Club in historic Newtown Square and the Old Original Nick’s Roast Beef in beautiful downtown Springfield, PA. Most D&C were present and accounted for with the exceptions of noted world traveler, legendary bon vivant and D&C16 Wally Smerconishwho thankfully was able to phone in on the ship-to-shore from “points unknown”, as well as that lovable yet wayward duo of D&C16’s Brett “The Walrus” Matteo and Charlie “Kandy Kakes” Pizzi who remained stuck “in transit”, presumably somewhere south of the border.
And while after many months of being cooped up at home all D&C were understandably excited to explore new & exotic locales on the other side of the river, we would be remiss if we didn’t extend a hearty “thank you” to the younger & more technological savvy among our ranks, specifically D&C19’s Doug Friel & Ed Robinson, for helping the more senior D&C to access the Google Maps feature on their iPhones and further, to understand that while, through the wonders of modern technology, the “directions lady” inside our phones may speak to us, it is not necessary for us in turn to speak to her. Thank you, gentlemen.
Many thanks also to Aronimink member and D&C17 Chris Dallas-Feeney for hosting a wonderful event made all the more special when our merry band of misfits learned that Newtown Square is in fact located in Delaware County, PA. After a winter spent binge-watching Mare of Easttown more than a few D&C were gobsmacked to learn that not only does such a place exist in real life, but that it is just a hop skip & jump away via the Blue Route. Who knew? Regardless, it was quite a sight to watch eminent Cricket Club members pile out of their cars & greet every man, woman & child they encountered at our esteemed & fellow GAP founding- member club with their unique interpretations of the local patois:
“How yous guys doin’?”
“Where can I get a wooder ice & a hewgie for the ride hewm?”
“Yo, let’s go Floyers”
And so forth. Our sincerest apologies Chris.
After a rollicking romp over Aronimink’s Elysian Fields featuring a truly horrific display of tops, skulls, duffs & “others” it was time for a quick shower & off to Springfield where our motley crew could relax & get down to the true raison d'etre of the D&C - eating, drinking, telling tales, general merry-making and most importantly, simple fellowship as friends in golf. After what all agreed was a year unlike any other we bid good riddance and here’s to much better days ahead for all.
We did learn of creative ways that many D&C found to keep themselves busy during the past year. For instance, the sheer number of beards present was an eye-opener, led by D&C13 Robin Gallagher, D&C15 Steve Whitenack and D&C 14 Bob “Mr. President” Bauer all of whom reported having spent a good part of the winter in Key West where each found considerable success on the “Papa Hemingway lookalike” circuit.
Similarly, our own “Mr. Chairman” and D&C15 Bob Wurtz had grand hopes for taking his glorious mullet and joining his favorite 80’s tribute hair-band. Unfortunately for Bob he misspelled “Poison” in his Google-searching. And while the world will have to wait a little longer for his signature rendition of “Every Rose has it’s Thorn” Bob did wind up as official spokesmodel for the LAFF (“Legionaire Association of French Fishmongers”) which isn’t a bad gig in its own right, proving once again that good things happen to good people. Congrats Bob.
Many D&C dedicated themselves to fitness over the course of 2020 with more than a few jumping on the Peloton craze. All were effusive in singing the praises of the indoor cycling program and particularly their favorite *ahem* “instructors”, who shockingly enough tended to skew towards young, female & extremely attractive, yowza. Only double bionic knee recipient and D&C13 Mike Henry reported any issues, but once he got a proper back wheel attached at his local bike shop Mike reports that he was able to ride the thing without too much trouble, although he really didn’t see what all the fuss was about as his trusty Schwinn 3-speed “worked just as well”.
After a sumptuous repast featuring enough of Woodland Avenue’s finest to feed an army washed down with enough Yuengling and Rolling Rock to float a battleship, the assembled masses got down to the semi-serious business of the D&C. After quickly dispensing with old business, new business and D&C financials in the customary (i.e. none, none, and “none of your business”) manner, the floor was opened for nominations for the one & only Unauthorized, Unofficial & Highly Irreverent Ross & Smith Hall of Fame. After a rollicking, rambling, stumbling, bumbling (not to mention outrageously entertaining) shout-fest that left more than a few D&C exhausted to the point of complete disinterest, our band of Merry Pranksters hugged it out, ordered one last round of Pottsville Petrus & Chateau Latrobe, rolled their collective eyes, shrugged their collective shoulders and more or less unanimously approved the following worthies for enshrinement.
The DOG & Chair Class of 2021
Frank Rizzo
Rick Sutliff
Peter Nissen
Bob Yoshimura
Jeff Armbrister
Todd Whitenack
Patrick Goodwillie
Robert Seeburger
Rich McMenamin
Jim Walker
George Becker
