​
​
​
​
​
​
2018 DOG & CHAIR
The Unauthorized, Unofficial & Highly Irreverent Ross & Smith Hall of Fame
​
Report From the DOG & CHAIR
The 5th Annual Dog & Chair shareholders meeting & team dinner was held on May 21st, 2018. All D&Cers were present and/or accounted for with the exception of D&C16’s Brett “The Walrus” Matteo and Charlie “Kandy Kakes” Pizzi who radioed in on the ship-to-shore to report that they had run out of fuel while out at the Canyon “hunting tuna” and were at present being towed back to harbor by a passing oceangoing speedboat manned by a friendly group of gentlemen from some club called “Emessthirdeen”, which they believed to be a reciprocal of PCC. No definitive word on Brett & Charlie’s expected arrival as their newfound friends were apparently further delayed because they were “waiting for a package”.
Many thanks to D&C14 Dave Montgomery & D&C17 Dave Buck for arranging for the use of Citizens Bank Park for the festivities, and particularly for allowing our jovial band of misfits to cavort over South Philly’s Elysian Fields pre-dinner as the first ever D&C Intramural Charity Softball Game was contested for the benefit of the First Tee of Greater Philadelphia. A smashing time was had by all and “many tens of dollars” were raised for a worthy cause. As a further treat the team of Dave & Dave created a 1970’s Veterans Stadium retro vibe and all enjoyed the maroon and powder blue throwback uniforms, animatronic mascots Philadelphia Phil & Phillis, exploding outfield scoreboard, and especially the reunited original Hot Pants Patrol led by the ageless & still effervescent Miss Mary Jo Poponeinaninch, the pride of 10th & Ritner. Yowza.
Prior to the first pitch, the DOG & Chair their ownselfs set the teams via a pre-game draft conducted at a neutral site which may or may not have been Cheerleaders men’s club on Columbus Avenue. Teams were divided with a more or less equal distribution of “athletes” (D&C15’s John Talbot & Bruce Redpath, D&C14 Tom Sheridan, D&C17 John Sabia et al) as well as let’s just call them “non-athletes” (you know who you are), with the only agreed upon stipulation being that D&C15’s Mark Obenrader and Steve Whitenack should be on separate squads so that each team would have a doctor on hand at all times “just in case”.
A spirited and highly competitive game ensued with highlights including the D&C17 double play combination of “Miller to Irwin to Pace” showing remarkable dexterity in the infield matched only by the inspired outfield play of the D&C13 “Soul Patrol” unit of Robin Gallagher, Chip Marshall & Mike Henry. A further highlight was provided during the early going by D&C16 Dick Price who with the help his willing accomplice, Miss Poponeinaninch, somehow managed to pull off a perfectly executing “hidden ball trick”. Well played, Dick.
A brief moment of controversy threatened to mar the proceedings as relief pitcher and D&C13 Bob Olsman argued balls & strikes in the late going, insisting that anything a foot off the plate in either direction and from the ankles to the brim of the cap was “good”. Thankfully, a compromise was reached as The Chair himself produced an MLB-sanctioned “Olsy Plate” which all agreed should be put into play for the remainder of the game.
As the ballpark lights came on and the game reached the bottom of the ninth inning the score stood tied with two out and D&C14 Rick Shepherd gingerly dancing off of 3rd base. The DOG’s shortstop and D&C13 Jay Clayton stepped in against The Chair’s closer and D&C13 John White. Strikes one & two were quickly established before the batter stepped out of the box & pointedly whispered something towards the mound. While we may never know exactly what was said the closest observer, catcher and D&C14 Bob Bauer maintains that while it sounded a lot like “CNN sells better”, it may in fact have been “PFM Wells letter”. Regardless, the next pitch fluttered to the plate with an almost audible quacking and our man in Washington happily lined it into left field to bring the winning run home.
After post-game hugs, handshakes & attaboys were exchanged all around, the assembled masses repaired to the showers and then to dinner eager to get on with the business at hand and then back to the more serious business of the slapping of backs, telling of tales and making of merry. Presently, the floor was opened to nominations for the one & only ROSS & SMITH INVITATIONAL Hall of Fame. After a rollicking & wide-ranging discussion during which pretty much every D&Cer made an impassioned plea for any partner they’d ever had, any family member who’s ever played in the R&S, and pretty much anyone who has ever given them a 3-foot putt, the following worthies were more or less unanimously approved for enshrinement in our band of Merry Men:
Greg Guyer: For his many years of service to PCC and his dedication to the R&S…and despite the fact that he went & joined Sunnybrook…and because no one should be excluded from the D&C just because they happen to be accomplished, handsome, charming, polite & really, really good at golf. OK, we admit that last part was tough for some of us to swallow but welcome aboard anyway Greg. HOF.
Richard Deats & Jack McDonald: A partnership that has outlasted more than a few of our marriages and is still going strong. Richard, next year’s tournament is scheduled for July 11-13, we look forward to hearing from you sometime in June. Jack, better you than us, thanks for looking after him. HOF.
Marc Bauer: R&S Past Champion playing in his record thirty-fourth consecutive event. This guy carried Doc Obenrader to everlasting glory & Past Champion for Life status and has played in the R&S every year since before it even WAS the R&S. HOF all the way.
Tom Deem: Because he’s a great guy. Because he’s a blast to be around. Because he supports the R&S year in & year out. And because Jim Smith, Jr. Director of Golf, the DOG himself, cannot wait to bust his chops in front of everyone. HOF.
Denys Rawson: The Thunder from Down Under. Thanks for your steadfast support these many years Denys. HOF.
Fred Gerhart: Because any group which fancies itself a latter-day League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ought to have at least one actual gentleman in it. Thanks for your dedication Fred. HOF.
Ric Andersen: Even joining Merion & temporarily leaving Ozzie in the lurch can’t keep “Old Cement Head” from joining the ranks of the immortals any longer. Welcome aboard Ricky, we love you even more than we love giving you a hard time old pal. Thanks for your support, for all the great memories & for all the great times ahead. HOF.
Respectfully Submitted
July 13, 2018
The DOG & Chair
​
​
​
"OBTW"
​
