2024 Report of the DOG & CHAIR
The 2024 DOG & CHAIR Annual Golf Outing, Team Dinner & Shareholders Meeting was held May 25th & 26th in the great state of Indiana at the joint venues of Victoria National Golf Club in beautiful Newburgh and the legendary Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
Many thanks to D&C22 Dan Meersman for not only arranging a memorable day of golf at his former club but also for the detailed and quite helpful tutorial on "how to act and speak like a Midwesterner", without which our ever-skeptical band of Philly Boys no doubt would have been hopelessly lost in the face of a highly suspect and seemingly endless army of smiling do-gooders hell-bent on finding some way of making our days a little brighter and more enjoyable.
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And while we admit it took some of us a while to get the hang of things, in short order our merry band of misfits were waving at every passer-by and shouting "Oh jeez, oh peez, oh man!", or "Oh, for cute!" and even the occasional "OoF-Dah!" after every shot or putt. Absolutely indispensable Dan, thank you.
After a rollicking day spent desecrating Tom Fazio's heretofore pristine fairways with the usual assortment of chunks, skulls, duffs, whiffs and "others", our ever-intrepid crew piled into no less than four ultra-luxury motor coaches for the short trip up I-69 to Indianapolis...
...compliments of the still fabulously wealthy and always-generous duo of Bret "The Walrus" Matteo and Charlie "Kandy Kakes" Pizzi who, although for obvious reasons unable to join in this year's festivities, reported that life in The Maldives was splendid and that they expected to remain in that lovely (and non-extraditable) paradise indefinitely or at least until "things cool off".
Upon arriving at the legendary "Brickyard" our crew quickly spilt into two distinct groups, 1) those of us with the good sense to adjourn to the skybox thoughtfully (if under duress) provided by Finance Chair for Life and D&C16 Al Thorell and, 2) a not insignificant number who, upon realizing that the Speedway infield was not only a vast wonderland of beer kegs, Porta Potty races and halter tops, but also home to at least part of a GOLF COURSE, quickly decamped for that seamy underbelly of American culture under the reasoning that "if I want to watch cars pass by at ridiculous speeds I can go drive the Schuylkill any day".
And so everyone settled in to witness one of the great spectacles in American sports. Everyone that is except for the ever-mischievous duo of noted race car enthusiast and D&C13 "The Great" Al Pierce and D&C 20/21 Bob Yoshimura who (aided by Yoshi's commandeered "Official Photographer" golf cart)
managed to make their way onto pit row in hopes that Al could fulfill his lifelong dream of a "hot lap" in an Indy car. Fortunately the two were intercepted before any major local statutes were violated and, with the help of not a few "Oh jeez, Oh peezes" (thanks again, Dan) were allowed to return under "skybox arrest" until the race had concluded.
And so, as the exhaust fumes dissipated and the sun set over the American heartland, all D&C relaxed with their Havanas & Pino Noir, loosened their belts and reflected on their good fortune and fine fellowship before getting down to the semi-serious business of the D&C. After dispensing in customary fashion with old business (none), new business (none) and D&C financials (none of your business) the floor was presently opened for nominations to the one & only Unauthorized, Unofficial & Highly Irreverent Ross & Smith Invitational Hall of Fame. In due course and with only a modicum of controversy, name-calling, eye rolling and shoulder-shrugging, the following worthies were duly selected for enshrinement.
Respectfully Submitted
The DOG & Chair
July 12, 2024
2024 Class
(Left to Right)
Peter Whitenack
Mike Kelly
Kirk Brinton
Ted Durkin
Terry Steelman
Marty Stallone
Roc Irey
Andy Fireman
Dave Tonroe
