2023 Report of the DOG & CHAIR
The 2023 DOG & CHAIR Annual Golf Outing, Team Dinner & Shareholders Meeting was held on May 13th, 2023 at The MGM Grand Hotel & Casino and Shadow Creek Golf Club in Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. Many thanks to D&C16's Brett "The Walrus" Matteo and Charlie "KandyKakes" Pizzi for not only hosting a weekend few will ever forget but for providing free transportation for all D&C on no less than FOUR brand-new GulfStream G650ER. Yowza.
A bit of background may be in order for the uninitiated.
As we all recall, our intrepid towsome went missing a few years back off the Atlantic City coast, only to pop up last year in Nigeria in the company of a mysterious prince who needed just a wee bit of help in order to recover his vast and stolen fortune. Always ready to help a friend in need (and shrewdly spotting a unique investment opportunity) our merry travelers contacted D&C16 and Finance Chair for Life Al Thorell who promptly wired the required funds from the D&C's (as far as you know) limitless coffers.
Now, we freely admit that more than a few D&C were, to put it mildly, "dubious" when upon their return Brett & Charlie announced that their share of the prince's fortune was stored on their iPhones in the form of "CoinCoin", which turned out to be digital pictures of, well, COINS. Lots of 'em. Like billions. The truth is that D&C19 John Clough succinctly summed up the feelings of most with an arched eyebrow and incredulous "What the Hell is THAT crap?", so imagine our collective surprise when none other than Elon Musk, having stumbled across Brett & Charlie's offering on OpenSea sent the following seemingly innocuous Tweet to his 145 million followers:
^^^CoinCoin ^^^
Well, quicker than you can say, "Jed Clampett" our dynamic duo were (on paper at least) firmly entrenched in the upper reaches of the Forbes 400, landing jointly at number 15 sandwiched between Alice Walton and Michael Dell (there's a visual for you). And while, sadly, it must be noted that a subsequent Elon Tweet:
"CoinCoinCrapola"
did result in our friends suffering a complete and utter reversal of fortune, it was not before they managed to secure a sizable line of credit with those canny financiers at Silicon Valley Bank
collateralized entirely and without recourse with, you guessed it, CoinCoin. Well played, men.
In any event, a rollicking time was had by all D&C as we romped over Shadow Creek's Elysian Fields, desecrating the artificial fairways & greens of Steve Wynn & Tom Fazio's desert fantasy land with the usual and truly horrific assortment of chunks, tops, skulls, whiffs & "others" before repairing to the MGM Grand where (when not running laps to the nearest ATM from the blackjack & craps tables) we were treated to a sumptuous repast accompanied by the vocal stylings of none other than Mr. Las Vegas his ownself, Wayne Newton.
Danke Schoen, Brett & Charlie.
As the slot machines gently rang in the background, all D&C relaxed with their Montecristos & cabernet, reflected on their good fortune and fine fellowship, and got down to the semi-serious business of the D&C. After dispensing with old business, new business & D&C financials in the customary fashion ("none, none. none of your business") the floor was presently opened for nominations to the one & only Unauthorized, Unofficial & Highly Irreverent Ross & Smith Invitational Hall of Fame. In due course and with only a modicum of the usual controversy, name-calling, eye rolling and shoulder-shrugging, the following worthies were duly selected for enshrinement.
Respectfully Submitted
The DOG & Chair
2023 Class
Jim Walker
Bob Warner
Joe Cannon
Joe Rudolf
Mark Stout
Michael Costonis
Andy Addis
Alex Lasher
Chris Coyne
