The D&C Show – Season 3 Episode 1

 

It’s a beautiful day at the Ross & Smith Invitational practice round and the DOG & Chair their ownselfs are manning the first tee & greeting the faithful.

 

The DOG: Well, we are all set for another Ross & Smith Invitational. Got everything in lockdown mode, tight as a drum, running like a well-oiled machine, firing on all cylinders..

 

The Chair: Um, yeah, I’ve been meaning to mention Pro, one guy just stepped on a bunker rake & broke his ankle and another guy’s wife just went into labor so I had to re-jigger their flights. Also, you know all of those guys who wanted to make up their own flights? Well, now they’re all mad at each other over handicaps and say they would rather not play at all than play together…so I had to switch those flights around too.

 

The DOG: Nothing but clear skies & smooth sailing…

 

The Chair: Oh, and I made up a new game that I want to incorporate today. It’s pretty simple & I’ve got it written down here somewhere. I think I mentioned it to Dan & Reed, actually maybe not.  But anyway, it’s a modified, three-man, hi-lo cross-group best ball with throw-outs, mulligans & double down tag-backs. Oh, and it’s also “beat the pro” but don’t worry, I don’t think you can lose more than a grand or so.

 

The DOG: Doing the no worries rock & the no worries roll…

 

The Chair: Here comes Steve Whitenack. Hey Doc!

 

Doc W: Heyboyzzousitgoin?...Iremmerwhenistartedthisternmintbackinateysixbrucemacdonaldwasthepro…

 

The DOG: What did he say?

 

The Chair: Forget it. You bet Doc, can’t ever thank you enough for founding the R&S and for all of your efforts on behalf of PCC.

 

DocW:ImhittinitgoodfinallyfiggeredoutwhatiwasdoinherecomesjustinheshittinitgoodtoohegetsitinsuchgoodpositionsnowIjustgottafindadriverilikeasmuchasthisone…

 

The DOG: What did he say?

 

The Chair: Forget it. Glad you’re hitting it good Doc, play well buddy. Here comes Bob Wurtz. Hey Wurtzy!

 

Bob W: Hey boys, I tell you I am playing SOOO bad. Dude, I suuuuuck. I can’t do anything out there, I can’t putt, I can’t hit any greens, I am just the worst Wurtz E-VER. I feel so bad that my partner has to carry me today, I am a looooad. (stripes it 280 down the middle)

 

The DOG: You know he shot 69 in the Senior Club Championship last week, right?

 

The Chair: Forget it. Here comes Mark Obenrader just finishing 18. Hey Doc! How’d it go out there?

 

Doc O: Hey boys, I played OK. Didn’t hit any greens but I shot 76.

 

The Chair: How many chip-ins today?

 

Doc O: Just three, but the greens were a little bumpy. Hey, sorry but I gotta hop…there’s a group of guys who played in the PNC that hung around all week waiting for some short game tips. I told ‘em I’d do it today but I need to be quick because there’s some other guy flying in all the way from California who needs help too. Didn’t catch his name but everyone calls him “Lefty”.

 

The Chair: Go get ‘em Doc. Hey, here comes John Westrum. Hey Johnny!

 

John W: Hey boys! Gibber, I need a small favor…I know how busy you are and I would never want to impose, but  Wally & I need to be down at the Center tonight to judge the Sixers dance team tryouts so if we can play just a TINY bit earlier today that would be great. Any time between 12:25 and 12:30 is fine, whatever works for you. Oh, and I just spoke with your drone guy. I know he’s supposed to be shooting video today but I just hired him to airlift cocktails to our group on every green on the back nine. Love ya, babe, thanks for all you do.

 

The Chair: No problemo Johnny, anything for a Past Champion!

 

John W: Oh, and FYI Seeburger is stealing all of your ideas for the Manny’s Member/Guest and taking all the credit, hope you don’t mind. Love ya, babe.

 

The Chair: You got it Johnny. Hey, here come Bruce Redpath & John Talbot. Hey guys!

 

Bruce R.: Hey boys, looking forward to another great event, can’t wait this is just the best, look forward to it all year, can’t say enough about it…it’s gonna be great!

 

John T: ‘Sup.

 

The Chair: Awesome…so where are your guests?

 

Bruce R: We’ve been meaning to talk to you guys about that. John & I were thinking about the recent developments in Washington and we’ve decided that our love for each other is just so strong that we can’t play with anyone else ever again. We think we should be allowed to commit to each other as partners for life and not be discriminated against just because we both happen to be members. Also, since we split up the team neither of us has even sniffed winning our flight.

 

John T: Our bromance is strong.

 

The Chair: Ooooookay. Well, far be it from the D&C to stand on the wrong side of history. Have at it boys. Hey, here comes Oz Fretz. Hey Ozzie!

 

Oz F: Hey boys, can we talk? On my way over here I got a text from Ricky and he just got into Pine Valley, Winged Foot and Shinny. Or maybe it was Oakmont, Balty and National…hell, I don’t know. Anyway, he says he doesn’t know if he can swing however many clubs that makes and he may have to drop PCC. What am I gonna do?

 

The Chair: Don’t worry Ozzie, we’ll get The Great Al Pierce to knock some sense into him. Regardless, you’ve been a huge part of this event forever & it wouldn’t be the R&S without you, amigo. If all else fails you can play with Redpath & Talbot since neither of them has a guest…it'll be like “Three’s Company” only different.

 

Doc W: ifthatassholedropstheclubagainhesafuckindouchebag…

 

The DOG: What did he say?

 

The Chair: He said we’ve got our DOG & CHAIR CLASS OF 2015 that’s what…and here they are!

 

Steve Whitenack

Bob Wurtz

Mark Obenrader

John Westrum

Bruce Redpath

John Talbot

Oz Fretz